Unmasking A High Sensation Seeking Highly Sensitive Person: Dreamstate and Staying Balanced and Grounded While Flying
In this blog post we’re going to delve into the topic of Staying Balanced and Grounded While Flying, in order to receive the benefits available to HSPs in Dreamstate.
Previously, I'd been boarding my plane to leave Nicaragua and we’re getting ready for take off. The flight attendant is giving us helpful safety instructions for our flight. Most of us tune out when this happens, but being prepared is a good mantra, so in the spirit of preparedness I’ve noticed there are factors that affect my dreamstate, and I’ve no doubt if you’re HSP these same factors are affecting your dreamstate.
So we’ll be covering the power of;
- intention and self-discipline
- pH balance
In the last blog post we delved into Dreams and States of Consciousness – because for HSPs vivid dreams are something most of us experience on a regular basis. We looked at;
- why dreams are important,
- how to remember your dreams,
- types of dreams,
- and, how to interpret a dream.
Now I'd like to explore the factors I've noticed that have played a big role on my dreams. And, since I’m of the belief that I’m here, living in this reality, in order to take as many opportunities as I possibly can to fulfill my Soul’s purpose and learn spiritual lessons so I can ascend to the next level - it’s important I don’t get sidetracked and am disciplined in how I go about “Life”.
So let's start off with Self-discipline. And I've also noticed how intricately entwined Intention is with self-discipline we're going to cover these two first.
And yes, I know... the word “discipline” doesn’t sound fun, but actually it is - it’s just a matter of perspective. So let’s dive in!
Intention and Self-Discipline
One of the important things I’ve learned throughout my journey so far is how important self-discipline is. It’s been one of the main reasons I’ve been able to ascend to the next spiritual level - so I can’t stress how important it is.
Now for me, I felt like I didn’t have a choice but to use self-discipline as a tool, there were some pretty odd things going on during my journey, to me at least, that meant I needed to require myself to use discipline as a tool.
This turned out to be a really good thing!
Because I learned that not only is it in my best interest to use self-discipline as a powerful tool, I also learned I can use this tool to achieve balance and happiness on a daily basis, regardless of what's 'going on out there'. Even though, 'what's going on out there' can seem to be pretty important, at the same time, it isn't. I'm not trying to talk in riddles here, what I'm saying is there are levels of understanding that only experience can provide.
For those just starting out, what I can relate is that practicing self-discipline was incredibly helpful for me. Now, I learned this an arduous way, and in stages along my journey, because self-discipline isn’t just about physical exercise, the 'act' of discipline can also be applied to the mental and psychological areas too. It's a butterfly effect.
And once I gained access to the tools I learned in HSP Discussion Groups, I was catapulted forward exponentially!
But along my journey I’d often stumble and fall into victim mode, which is easy to do if you don’t have access to the tools you need to move forward. I’d have to exert a ton of effort to pull myself out of victimhood and into forward motion again. So again, I get the “victim” mentality, I’ve done it so I have a level of compassion for you that comes from a place of knowing.
But just know, staying in victimhood isn’t helping you and it’s much more gratifying and amazing to use the tools that are available to you, one of them being self-discipline, and learn to apply this tool to your life in a way that allows you to move forward (while at the same time ascending to the next spiritual level). But, as always, balance is required - so using self-discipline needs to be balanced with being kind and gentle with yourself.
I say this because HSP’s are typically very conscientious and do the best they possibly can, but they can also be quite critical of themselves. This won’t help you. Developing and building on self-love, self-care, self-compassion, and self-forgiveness is vital to your well-being and one of the ways you can use discipline is– in how you talk to yourself.
Because your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you'll have in this lifetime.
And those inner cog wheels are used to spitting out negative memories and thoughts, which is what the majority of us have experienced in and from the “outside world”, even if this isn't so, and just that this is what our minds naturally tend to remember.
So using self-discipline to observe and then catch those negative thoughts about either yourself or someone else, and then release these thoughts with love - knowing they’re only there to show you how much more you need to show yourself self-love, self-care and self-compassion – is key.
Not an easy feat, no doubt. But who said a spiritual journey would be easy right?
So, let’s continue on to the power of intention.
Intention holds energy and energy is powerful. I had no idea how powerful it was and how it manifested in what we refer to as “reality” until I began experimenting.
Of course I didn’t have an idea of how great a role discipline, self-love, self-care and self-compassion played in this, but I learned. Over time. And since I learn by trial and error, I’m hoping to save you time and energy so you can go beyond what I’ve achieved so far and what I continue achieving, by ascending to higher spiritual levels – which will bring you more happiness and creativity!
So first and foremost it’s important to be willing to adjust your perspective. Be willing to embrace your spirituality with a bold spirit. You are first and foremost a spiritual being, (not associated with anything or anyone else - not your country, your religion, your family, your spouse, your politics, etc.).
This is no different than where I needed to start from when I began my own spiritual journey. And I had no idea how much fear this would bring up for me, and as it turns out it was a lot and had to be done in stages - but somehow I knew on a deeper level that eventually my Soul would ascend to the next level if I just embraced the fact that there’s wisdom in not knowing, being okay with 'not knowing' and going with the flow as best I could, while at the same time not going with the flow.
Sounds counter-intuitive right? Funnily enough, it isn’t.
If you set your intention to be willing to grow spiritually as your base intention you’ll be fine. There will be bumps along the way, inevitably, because that’s how you gain wisdom, and you’ll look back and laugh about it one day, but to begin with it’s essential you agree to the fact that for the most part, everything is an illusion (and as much as you 'think' you understand this, you'll be surprised at how many layers there are to this), and you are creating your reality in order to learn the spiritual lessons you wanted to learn in this lifetime - so you could spiritually ascend.
How you’ve gone about doing this and how you continue to go about doing this can, and most likely will, be judged in whatever way someone else wants to judge it. Since the majority of people are caught up in what I call “lack energy”, or negative energy, (in my experience in North America anyways), it probably means you’ve already received and/or are currently receiving negative feedback from those around you – because you have the HSP Trait.
And this is where it comes in really handy to understand how projection works, a powerful tool you can learn in an HSP Discussion Group (provided the members have been carefully screened and are able to participate in way that's beneficial for themselves as well as the rest of the group members). HSPs are very adept at picking up on and understanding layers and levels of energy, and beginning to understand how these layers and levels work, relative to projection, is an incredibly helpful tool for HSPs. (It also leads to deeper understandings of boundaries as well).
But try to remember, to a great degree what someone else thinks about you isn’t your concern – what you think and feel is what's important, and how you judge yourself (or not) means the difference between making progress on your own inner, spiritual journey or letting outside influences dictate how you progress towards bringing yourself more creativity, happiness, and peace into your life.
Sounds selfish right?
But for most HSPs the main messages we’ve received, and/or are receiving, have been messages telling us to put others wants, needs, and opinions above our own – otherwise we won’t “fit in”, and therefore survive.
Just know, this is just the normal brain-washing that occurs, it's part of your spiritual journey - to uncover what's real and what's illusion. To slowly arrive at the conclusion that there’s “more” to be gained “going inward” rather than paying too much attention to what's going on ‘out there’ - and there’s a unique Soul purpose every HSP is trying to fulfill that’s been quietly and patiently calling them.
So moving from that space to what can be perceived at first to be a selfish one feels – well… wrong. It did for me anyways.
But this is just a knee-jerk reaction that will go away in strength, duration and frequency over time – as you continue to develop your inner strength and practicing compassion for yourself.
Because this is your ego, or fear, on patrol all the time looking for ways to undermine you (actually fear can manifest in many different ways, in societies, people, etc., but I won’t go into that now).
But this is where you want to be
You feeling me?
Alert, playful and being in “having-fun-mode” are beneficial to you in so many ways. Our society isn’t geared in this direction – we’re taught everything has to be a struggle, and it does on a spiritual level, otherwise ascending wouldn’t be worth achieving, but on other levels, it sure doesn’t have to be as difficult as we’ve been taught. That’s an illusion.
Now on another level, most HSPs are deep thinkers - we don’t always “feel” like being in “positive, playful mode” - and guess what? That’s okay. There’s a wide range of human emotions and we’re meant to experience them – not be stuck in one or two modes all the time. We can’t be happy and “on” all the time, at best it would be superficial and at worst, downright harmful.
Sometimes we’re meant to be still, which is why we’re moving on to the next point.
For HSPs meditation needs to be looked at from the perspective of “must do”. There’s too much going on in the outside world, and with our highly tuned nervous systems, it’s a must to practice meditation on a daily basis.
But, “meditation” doesn’t mean you need to give up all your worldly possessions, fly to Tibet and sequester yourself in a cave by yourself for years practicing the art of meditation. Nor do you need to become a yoga instructor, or shave your head or start wearing funny-looking pants. Not necessary. You can if you want to, but it isn’t necessary.
Meditation can be practiced any time and any place. You can meditate as you walk. You can meditate as you paint, write, draw, build a house, whatever. It’s simply a state of being - a state of mind, a state of allowing your consciousness to simply “be” without attaching judgment. It’s a way of being where you can mindfully “notice” your thoughts, notice where they’re going and train yourself to “not think” and simply observe.
Because it’s in the “not thinking” and “simply being” where we find peace, gratitude and understanding for ourselves. It’s also a powerful tool we can use to relax, and when we’re relaxed we become more playful and therefore more creative.
Now, most of us have “monkey minds” - our minds are always thinking. We’ve been taught, or as I like to say, brainwashed, to “be” in this state of mind. We’re taught to always “be alert”. But it’s basically impossible to “be alert” at all times (without doing harm to yourself emotionally, physically, psychologically and spiritually), and actually causes you to be in what I call “a state of sleeping wakefulness”.
Meditation, in fact, is how we feed our spiritual being, our higher selves. A way we feed our Soul.
Now when I first began trying to meditate I had a heck of time. Monkey-mind to the max. I’d be able to clear my mind for about 30 seconds, and even that took a lot of effort, and then my thoughts would start running. I had to keep at it, be persistent and be disciplined about improving. I had to mindfully observe where my mind was wandering to, observe this, and then gently bring it back to “nothingness”.
This is no easy feat and it takes time. And there’s no one else to compare to. You can only mind your own progress based on your own experiences. If you can extend the amount of time your mind is “clear” by just 5 seconds in two weeks – you’re making amazing progress!
And for me, I also realized I needed to incorporate stretching into my meditation, that being mindful of what my body was communicating to me was also important. So I jumped online and somehow found a guided meditation that included stretching exercises. Years later I learned what I’d been practicing was Kundalini.
I’m glad I didn’t know what Kundalini was, otherwise it would’ve freaked me out. But I didn’t know so I just followed the guided meditation and it was an incredible help to me, because I was able to focus on the verbal instructions as well as what my body felt like and what my body was communicating to me - in a mindful way.
It's quite amazing to learn that your body is actually always trying to help you, is always trying to communicate with you - in a way that's helpful for you. We aren't taught to listen to our bodies, to listen to what they're saying to us. But it can be a powerful communication device. For example, when someone has avoided an accident or boarding a plane that later crashed, you'll notice they say they "had a funny feeling". That was their body talking to them, and they listened.
I also learned things along the way that I incorporated into my practice. If you’d like to try my 40 Minute Mindful Movement Guided Meditation you’re invited to click here.
During my meditation I concentrate on pulling the negative energy that, (because we’re human and have to deal with gravity), naturally flows down and sits in our lowest chakra, at the base of our spine. It takes intention, daily self-discipline and practice to mindfully pull that energy up towards your highest chakra, your crown chakra. Afterwards I'm left with an incredible feeling of calm. It’s wonderful. This is why I consider meditation a powerful tool for HSPs.
It also helps me with balance, flexibility and strength – both physically, spiritually, emotionally and psychologically.
Now, at the time I began practicing meditation, I didn’t really feel like I had a choice in the matter. I was experiencing some rather difficult circumstances and I felt I needed to do whatever I could to remain calm. I’m not much for prescription pills, or alcohol and I didn’t feel that marijuana was a good option, as it just zoned me out and negatively affected my physical sense of balance. So I had to find a different alternative. And I’m glad I did.
If you aren’t familiar with meditation I invite you to try this 5 Minute Breath Meditation.
Often when I meditate my mind clears and a solution to a problem just pops into my head!
Which brings us to the next point. Because, are problems really problems?
Now, we covered reframing quite a bit in the post called, “The Reframing Ferry Ride” but I’d like to revisit it here because it’s important.
It’s human nature to want to take the “easy” way. And the easy way for most of us is to push away anything painful. Usually this means painful emotions. Emotions related to situations where we felt pain in the past - it could be a betrayal, a death, an argument, a separation, a divorce, a physical attack, anything really. The point of it is we felt pain on an emotional level.
Now the thing about this is, if we don’t naturally go through the process of healing – these emotions tend to build up. But if we haven’t been taught, and don’t know how, we don’t recognize that we can make a choice to heal. To allow ourselves the relief, and therefore the ability to move through the healing process towards a place of peace and happiness.
Look, Life is what it is. Things will happen. Not all of them will be great. If you’ve had the type of life where you haven’t experienced any pain or setbacks, that's awesome - I’m happy for you. But for the majority of us that isn’t the way it goes.
Life is full of everything, beauty and ugliness and we’re meant to be witnesses to both, both within ourselves and within this reality we call “Life”. The Light and The Darkness. There can’t be one without the other.
And it’s in seeing both, witnessing both, honouring both, in the outside world and within ourselves, that we can begin embracing the grace and beauty in whatever pain we’ve experienced. Because we can begin the process of healing that pain by transforming the energy of pain into an energy that propels us forward, toward what’s positive and beneficial for us, despite and because of this pain.
And this is where pain can be your greatest ally. Pain is like carbon, and when you actively decide to use healing tools like reframing, projection, boundaries, gratitude and others, and begin applying pressure on yourself to heal - that carbon turns into diamond.
So the more pain you’ve experienced the more opportunity you have to create your own spiritual diamond mine, and the more opportunity you have to experience the incredible beauty of peace and happiness that leads you closer to fulfilling your Soul’s purpose.
This is why I’m so passionate about increasing awareness of the HSP Trait and providing a way for HSPs to connect with each other and access helpful tools. Because I want HSPs to be able to easily tap into their creativity, by growing their awareness of how their trait works for them.
And because most HSPs are misunderstood, I’ve decided to create a space, a safe place for HSPs where they can “be” with other HSPs. Because only HSPs can really understand HSPs.
HSPs connect on a deeper level, with one another, with nature and with spirituality. It can be downright frustrating and too difficult at times to try to communicate on this level with non-HSPs or with HSPs who aren’t ready to begin positively transforming how they work with and relate to their trait.
Also, the majority of HSPs are underutilizing one of their greatest gifts - their creativity. Personally, I had no idea I was creative. I always knew there was something different about me, but only because that’s the messaging I received from others, and a lot of it was negative. But that’s about it.
But my creativity actually saved me many times along my journey. It allowed me to find ways to deal with difficult circumstances that I’m pretty sure few would’ve been able to navigate. So my creativity happened to be a strength I didn’t know I had. That I'm incredibly thankful for. But this is the case for most HSPs – one of their greatest strengths is their creativity but they aren’t able to access it for a number of reasons.
And that’s why I’m going over this point again, reframing. Because it’s in the releasing of energy, and the healing of that pain that we begin transforming that energy and opening up space we're then able to begin filling with beautiful, amazing discoveries about ourselves! That we'll only be able to understand if we allow ourselves to journey inward. Discoveries that lead to more creativity, peace and happiness.
Now let’s move on to what can divert us from this. Because being aware is being forearmed.
We’ve talked about triggers before, in the post where we were looking at Overstimulation, in relation to D.O.E.S., an acronym for:
- Depth of processing,
- Emotional Empathy and Responsiveness, and
- Sensory sensitivity
I bring this up because being aware of what, for us, is a trigger is particularly important. If we don’t know what overwhelms us how can we know how to deal with it?
For example, I have a family member who loves to loudly argue. I don’t know why, they just do. And they’ll argue to a point where if you aren’t agreeing with their point they’ll begin to insult you. Again, I don’t know why, that’s just how they operate.
Now I can’t do anything about how they communicate. What I can do is understand how it affects me, how it’s a trigger for me. For me, someone in close proximity to me who is yelling angrily is a trigger for me. I don’t like it. Does this mean I don’t like my family member? No, absolutely not. Not only do I like them - I love them. But their behavior is a trigger for me.
So I’ve learned that developing self-compassion means I spend less time in their company. It isn’t my job to put myself in their company for any length of time, or try to placate them, change them, argue with them, or be insulted by their behavior - because for someone else, their behavior would be taken as “passion”. You feel me? There is no right or wrong. There’s only what works for me.
Because my ultimate goal is co-creating a Life that embraces my spirituality, that feels good to me, and for me.
So knowing what your triggers are means you can determine where to expend your energy, because energy is a powerful resource.
And speaking of energy, let’s move on to exercise.
When most people think of exercise they think of “going to the gym”. Well, as an HSP/HSS I can honestly say I’m not a fan. It smells, there’s too many people, I don’t like waiting to use equipment, and I don’t places where there’s a ton of human activity (I tend to grocery shop at quiet times, buy stuff online because I don’t like busy malls, etc.).
Does that mean I don't exercise? Absolutely not. Exercise is critical to your emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual health. When you exercise you’re releasing endorphins, which make you feel good, and improve your mood and overall happiness with life. It’s also a positive way to deal with stress.
And for HSPs grounding and staying balanced is important. Which is why I’m recommending, as many others have (for example, Simone Wright in her book “First Intelligence: Using the Science and Spirit of Intuition”), walking. This can translate to hiking, snowshoeing, speed walking, etc.
Walking keeps you grounded, meaning you’re constantly connecting with the energy of the Earth. For HSPs it’s easy to let our imaginations go, up, up, somewhere else. Which is fine. It’s good. But too much of anything isn’t good. So it’s important to make sure you’re “grounding” on a regular basis, meaning - a daily basis.
Now typically, for me, I find ways to force myself to do things that I know are good for me. It's like I allow my higher self to outwit 'myself', if you know what I mean. Because I’m keen on exploring foreign lands and territories by foot, but if I have to do something mundane, like go grocery shopping - I’m not particularly keen on walking there. Does that mean I don’t? Nope. I definitely do. I have to eat.
So I made the decision to be vehicle-free, and that means the only way I can provide myself with food, is if I walk. Now, I don’t have to walk. I can get a cab, or a bus or call a friend for a ride. But I also love music. So I find that when I plug my MP3 player in and start walking I really don’t mind. And afterwards I feel good, and I’m glad I walked.
You can also practice meditation when walking. This is usually a slower type of walking. Not an “exercise” type of walking.
And if you find walking boring? Well, you can always listen to a podcast when you’re walking, or listen to an audiobook, or walk with a friend. There’s tons of ways to get your 'grounding' in.
Because being and staying grounded also affects your balance. Not “balance” in the way of you’ll-fall-over if you don’t walk, but it is helpful for that too. But balanced in the way of "how" you approach Life.
As an aside, I’ve found when I walk daily I don’t tend to dream dreams that have to do with others’ energy. Which I like. I believe I figured out as much as I needed to about the “outside” world in terms of fear, how it works, and why things are the way they are - in order to move to a higher spiritual level, so my intention has changed because I don’t find anything “out there” that interesting. Instead I've moved from being 'outward' focused to being 'inward' focused.
I find creativity interesting. I find co-creating with other HSPs interesting. I find nature interesting. I find listening to others perspectives interesting. I find myself interesting.
And since I’m HSP/HSS I've found it’s important I keep myself occupied with inner creative pursuits, and the more creative my pursuits are the more engaged I am, which means I’m feeding my Soul, my spirituality. And this makes me happy.
So yup, walking. Very important for a balanced, grounded Life.
And speaking of balance, let’s move on to your pH balance.
You’re probably wondering, what the heck does pH balance have to do with anything? Well, as it turns out – a lot.
You see, your pH balance is directly related to your health. And your physical health is related to your emotional and psychological health. Everything is connected right?
But let’s back up a minute.
The human species can be divided up into two categories (for the sake of explaining the importance of pH levels).
There are the 'hunters' and there are the 'gatherers'. The hunters naturally create a lot of acid in their stomachs, so when they eat meat they don’t expend any energy, the acid in their stomach breaks down the meat.
But when a gatherer eats meat, (they don’t create much acid in their stomachs), they have to actually expend energy breaking down that meat. This is why they can become exhausted easily if they eat a lot of meat, their bodies are using a lot of energy trying to break down that meat, so they have little energy for anything else.
This is why it’s healthy for gatherers to eat little to no meat and a lot of fruit and vegetables. And for hunters, it’s best for them to stay away from foods and drinks that are acidic, because they already create a lot of acid in their stomachs. Hunters need to consume more food and drinks that are alkaline. As an aside, something I didn’t want to hear was that coffee is acidic, because my blood type falls in the hunter category.
Does that mean I eat a lot of meat? Nope. Unfortunately, the meat available in North America is full of synthetic hormones and antibiotics. And hormones are a tricky business - they affect your emotions. And since I’m not keen on anything interfering and interacting with the natural production and regulation of the hormones I naturally produce in my body, I tend to consume protein in other forms - beans is one of them.
Now, this information about your pH balance is based on a book called, “Eat Right For Your Blood Type” by Dr. Peter J. D’Adamo with Catherine Whitney. Most people don’t even know what their blood type is. So if you don’t know you can call your doctor to find out. From the book you’ll find out if your blood type falls in the hunter or the gatherer category. There’s great information in the book about foods and drinks that are helpful, neutral and harmful for you, based on your blood type.
You can check how it’s going by buying some pH strips like this too, (I have no affiliation with this product or company, feel free to shop around). The point is pH strips will help you figure out if what you’re eating and drinking is having a positive or negative effect on your pH levels. As an aside, a lot of fresh, dark greens is always a good thing.
Experimenting with different foods, listening to your body, and being thankful for what an amazing vehicle you have (in the way of your body and your mind) is super interesting and fun!
So these are the factors that I’ve found have a large impact on my dreamstate and how to stay balanced and grounded while flying;
- intention and self-discipline
- pH balance
Oh! Did you notice I missed writing about 'gratitude'? But did I? Gratitude can be so easily incorporated into everything. Oftentimes we can get caught up in the 'keeping up with the Jones' mentality. But, what if there are no 'Jones'? Because there actually aren't. No one 'has it better'. They have it different. And it's impossible to make a judgement about whether someone has it 'better' than you. You don't know what they're struggling with, because I can wholeheartedly make this guarantee - everyone is struggling with something. No one gets off easy in this life - we didn't choose to, we chose to come here so we could create opportunities to gain wisdom and understanding, so we can spiritually grow.
So, practicing gratitude on a daily basis is a powerful tool that exponentially increases your state of happiness! It's a tool you can use to achieve an incredible amount of freedom too.
Now, the stewardess has finished giving us our safety instructions for flying and I’m all buckled in as the plane begins taxiing down the runway. Soon we’ll be airborn and as I gaze out the window I notice what a beautiful, exotic place I’m leaving.
Which leads me to think about this new journey I’ve embarked on – this new journey of learning more about my HSP Trait. I'm so grateful for the spiritual gifts I’ve been given I feel much more than compelled to empower HSPs, I’m driven to it, with a passion I’m unable to describe. I understand now that the next part of my journey is to empower other HSPs so they can benefit from what I’ve learned and continue to learn. HSPs, to me, are incredibly amazing!
And as I ponder on my next blog post I’ve decided to delve into the topic of vocation, that's right - the J-O-B thing. Because for most HSPs this can be challenging. We’re going to call this post, “Landing Jobs: An HSP Trajectory”. And as always, I invite you to leave a comment or question, anonymously if you like.